I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
