I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
