Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
