I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
