I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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