tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
