She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
