Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
