sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
