The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
