I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
