seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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