Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
