I love black thongs
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
