If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
