someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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