hell yes lets make some ravioli
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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