Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
