Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize