I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
