One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ugly people sure do ruin things
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
