She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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