I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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