i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
