come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
