apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
