dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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