Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
