Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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