I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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