your thong is hanging out like whoa
never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
