dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
