look no pants
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
