She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
