i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
