My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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