And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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