he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
