did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
