I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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