I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
