Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
