Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
