Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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