Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I don't think brook has ever known best
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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