Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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