fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
