His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
