i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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