you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
