a search helicopter?!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
