I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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