i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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