So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
