i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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