Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
