Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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